Every human has every human trait present inside them.
(traits include the seemingly good ones; kindness, caring, mercy, love, sympathy, etc as well as the seemingly bad ones ; arrogance, cruelty, insensitivity,etc)
The matter is of how much of a trait is present inside a particular individual.
In other words the LEVEL of the trait.
Let’s take the trait of selfishness for example.
It’s as stated before, present inside each of us.
But not in the same magnitude. Each one of us has different levels of it.
No human is completely selfless.
Most people call a mother’s love as selfless.
I’d say it’s not actually selfless. It’s about her priorities… She feels happiness when she does things for her children. That happiness. She is gaining it. She is pleasing herself.
That’s a different approach that this sort of selfishness is rather beautiful. To attain happiness through the happiness of other humans (as in the case of all sorts of love)
But at the end of the day, you’re still working to make yourself happy.
… You are feeding your blood with happy hormones (something that you actually get high on, quite naturally in a healthy, positive manner-something you should definitely Google about)
Coming back to selfishness levels,
While the “mother’s love” and her selfishness is put forth in a good way and is positive in most cases, it might have negative consequences as well.
We’ve all heard about those arrogant parents of spoilt children, haven’t we?… Those who consider everything their child does or wants as a priority over virtually everything & everyone else!
(a case of high levels of selfishness as well as indifference/carelessness/insensitivity and low levels of sensibility and/or empathy/kindness )
This is the negative aspect of selfishness and other traits.
The negativity or positivity of a certain level of trait is also dependent on our priorities as well as other traits.
Certain people are so selfish that they might carelessly step over (hurt) other people in order to pursue their -usually- materialistic needs.
While others might use this trait for a good cause depending upon their priorities in life. For example dedicated Social workers, hardworking competitors, passionate lovers,etc.
Suffice to say, to be good humans we need to build appropriate levels of each trait within our character.
(I could go on and on but let’s not bore you for tonight. 😉)